It's been a while since the BCA study abroad program has ended, but I wanted to write a post about this semester before I forget about it and my reflections disappear.
First of all, I just want to say that this semester with BCA-Quito has been incredible.
I loved each and every single one of us, and have so much appreciation for the program directors.
In these five months, I have learned so many things, made numerous friends, improved my spanish, and have realized so many things about myself and what I am interested in.
I've always been very interested in volunteering for children (ARC and UNICEF) but I've never been interested in the hands-on education part of children.
I still don't feel like I would want to become a teacher (considering almost all of my aunts and uncles on my moms side are teachers, as well as my older sister) but I have realized that I am very interested in children's rights and education.
I've been a teacher assistant for an elementary school twice but both times I didn't think that I would really be interested in committing to children's education.
But since doing an internship in two different schools in Ecuador (a normal preschool and a school for deaf children) I've realized that I have a passion for children's rights to education - interesting how your past volunteering experiences and commitments connects to your interests and passion. I've realized also that I don't have interest just in children's right to education but more specifically the rights to education for children with disabilities and for underprevileged children.
After coming to Ecuador, I found myself trying to balance out my life as well. Since going to Soka, I've been pulled by the waves of "pressure" and "expectations" that exists invisibly in our university. At times it can be good, but many times these invisible forces brought me down so low and stressed that I was unable to eat anything nor enjoy anything from the bottom of my heart.
As the people-pleaser that I am, I have always tried to make myself more than I really was, tried pleasing people more than necessary and hiding things that I thought was not good enough.
That and considering the competitive nature within me, I would allow myself to be let-down many many times and accuse myself for not being good enough.
Sadly, I am in the majority group of students that do this to themselves.
That being said, I am also sure that this mandatory study abroad program definitely has a postitive impact on each and every student in our university.
But at the same time, I am very glad that I ended up choosing BCA-Quito for study abroad. I cannot express how much I look up to Daniel Bryan and Martha, Miguel Andres as well as the many speakers Daniel had coordinated for us to meet and the my fellow students in the program.
Through this trip, I realized I am definitely a balancer.
What I mean by this is that, I enjoy taking walks, drinking coffee/tea and listening to the birds chirp, sitting down and listening to music, and sitting on buses and staring at the scenery.
I don't mean that I do not work hard nor that I never study, but rather realized that I am not very much an elite type person in academics/work but rather a person that likes to see everything.
Maybe I'm greedy, maybe I'm a people-pleaser. Maybe I'm too competitive, maybe I'm just lazy.
There's always different ways to see things and different ways to describe things.
The same thing can mean very different things and explained in many different ways.
I am shy, I am outgoing, I am positive, I am an over-thinker, I like to see people happy, I like it when people think I am a nice person, I am a giver, I am not confident.
People make me insecure, I make myself think I am not good enough.
But that's all so common, and I am accepting - I'd like to think atleast. It's normal to have ups and downs, and its normal to compare. But I also know that ups and downs are constant but in genral, if you always feel appreciative, and thankful, in general you are rising.
Anyways.
This semester has been full of realizations.
Although I grew up in Los Angeles, I prefer to live somewhere with alot less people.
I loved being in the Amazon (Tiputini and Tena) as well as the Galapagos Islands.
I love being surrounded with many many animals and sleeping to the sounds of frogs and waves.
Through the internship program and talking to people, I have decided to apply for the Peace Corps and volunteer somewhere in the world for 2 years.
Through the Ecuador Culture and Justice class, I have reflected much more on the topic of tourism than I thought I would have.
Every time I visited a new place, it made me think that I want to stay there to get to know the locals, get to know the life, get to know the details, get to be a part of the comunity.
But anyways,
This semester has been such an amazing gift and privilege given by my university. I am so glad that I came to Ecuador with BCA-Quito. I am definitely "amando la vida" here and would love to come back very very soon to see my friends again as well as enjoy the nature at the center of the world :)
Thank you BCA-Quito! :)
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